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Demoted

"Sir? You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, yes, come and sit down. I suppose you're wondering why you're here, yes?"

"Yes sir."

"How long have you been with us?"

"Um… since 1930, so about 66 years, sir, and I've enjoyed every minute, Mr Ekers."

"Well, there is no easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it. We've been reviewing your profile and the board and I are in agreement when I say that we are redefining you're positing here."

"I'm being fired sir?"

"No, no, not at all, you'll still be a valued member of our organization; all we're doing is placing you in our new division."

"What division is that, Mr Ekers?"

"The board have opened a division in our company so we can expand ourselves by being about to include new people in our staff. They're calling it Dwarf Planets."

"But why me sir? Why now? I've been a planet for 66 years and no one has said anything to me. Is it my orbit? I know it's strange but I couldn't help it. I even have satellites, Charon, Nix and Hydra unlike Venus. I even cleared out of Neptune’s orbit."

"Now Pluto, your profile has been reviewed by the board for along time. Even as you were named a planet people didn't think that you were right for the job. The reason we've only bought it to you're attention now is because of new applicants we've had to become planets and we've had to change our policies in order to accommodate every one for this rush in new employees."

“But why have I been moved sir? I thought I was doing well.”

“You have been doing well; it’s just now that the board has changed the definition of a planet we’ve had to look at your profile. I wish we could keep you as a main planet but the board was clear that there should be no exceptions.”

“Can I ask what policy I don’t comply to?”

“Yes, well, the policy has been simplified to 3 major points. The first is that a staff member must orbit a star but not in itself be a star and the second one is that a staff member must have sufficient mass for their self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that they can assume a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape”

“So I fall in the third point sir?”

“I’m afraid so Pluto, you see, the third point the board is enforcing is that the staff member has cleared the neighborhood around it and I’m sorry to say that you haven’t done that.”

“What does clearing the neighborhood mean Mr Ekers?”

“It means you have to dominate the area around your orbit and the board has found you haven’t done that to the extent that they are content with. There are a lot of comets and asteroids and others things that are around you.”

“But what does this all mean Mr Ekers?”

“All it means is that you have a new job title. You won’t be considered a main planet any more but you are still a planet, just a different type. Don’t worry about being alone; you’ll have plenty of new friends and less of the pressure that the rest of the main planets deal with.”

“Yes Mr Ekers, sir.”

“Good, good, I’m glad you understand. Now you’ll need to gather your things from your desk then I can show you to our new department.”

“Yes Mr Ekers, sir.”

“Excellent, I’m sure you’ll love your new position with us at the International Astronomical Union.”
something i thought about at 11 o'clock at night
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:iconminesweeperaddict:
minesweeperaddict Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2008
*chortles* That was pretty darn amazing. :D
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:iconprincess-sash:
princess-sash Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2006   Writer
oh.... my.... God.... this is.... AMAZING

michelle maree, i really, really... REALLY, absolutely LOVE this piece of writing genius! you have created a definte masterpiece, well done!!

i've known you for 12 years and you still manage to amaze me in so many wonderous ways... i am so proud of you for writing this... it really does display the true genius in you!

you are an amazing girl, an amazing friend... an amazing mystery.... so many reasons to love you... and to love this

thank you for sharing your thoughts with us :)
Reply
:iconi-is-a-freak:
I-Is-A-Freak Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2006
you're welcome
Reply
:iconprincess-sash:
princess-sash Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2006   Writer
oh.... my.... God.... this is.... AMAZING

michelle maree, i really, really... REALLY, absolutely LOVE this piece of writing genius! you have created a definte masterpiece, well done!!

i've known you for 12 years and you still manage to amaze me in so many wonderous ways... i am so proud of you for writing this... it really does display the true genius in you!

you are an amazing girl, an amazing friend... an amazing mystery.... so many reasons to love you... and to love this

thank you for sharing your thoughts with us :)
Reply
:iconi-is-a-freak:
I-Is-A-Freak Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2006
you're welcome
Reply
:iconionahipri:
Ionahipri Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2006  Hobbyist
Funny take on the Pluto matter. Nice! :laughing:
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:iconi-is-a-freak:
I-Is-A-Freak Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2006
thanks for that
Reply
:iconunknownapostle:
UnknownApostle Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2006
Excellent work, I must say
Reply
:iconi-is-a-freak:
I-Is-A-Freak Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2006
does some one have a gun to your head or do you really like it
Reply
:iconunknownapostle:
UnknownApostle Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2006
No no. It's great
Reply
:iconi-is-a-freak:
I-Is-A-Freak Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2006
woot happy dance :dance:
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:iconunknownapostle:
UnknownApostle Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2006
rofl
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:iconi-is-a-freak:
I-Is-A-Freak Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2006
yay
Reply
:iconi-is-a-freak:
I-Is-A-Freak Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2006
yay
Reply
:iconnomadic-entity:
nomadic-entity Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2006
Good job
Clever lady...
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:iconi-is-a-freak:
I-Is-A-Freak Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2006
yay! thanks
Reply
:iconvincents-child:
vincents-child Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2006   Writer
I love the personification, brilliant as always
Reply
:iconi-is-a-freak:
I-Is-A-Freak Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2006
thanks
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